Last week, i realised that life doesn't just wait around for me to see it moves to actually do so. Damn, that's a complicated sentence... I'll try to elaborate: Maybe I'm stupid not having seen this before, and of course I've thought about it, but not really understood it to It's full extent.
My little brother, who is quite a bit younger than me (at least more than siblings usually are), has partied with my friends and myself quite a few times. But last week, we had a party together, with both his friends and mine at the same time. The result was quite frightening: there was a kids table, and an adults table. Actually, we all were faced with the strange feeling of not being a teenager anymore. Of course, as i said before, we all knew this but we hadn't been faced with it, not that way. At one point in time, we joked about being so old we should talk about retirement savings and then shortly followed-up with doing exactly that. If that's not a sad moment in our still young (hopefully), western, middle class emotional lives, what is?
If I think back a few years, I believe i used to be an idealist. That has increasingly been replaced by sarcasm and general cynicism (not all bad though, the latter can be a great party-trick). I guess being amongst the youngest people at work doesn't really help my case youngening myself up (although some translators help me out in that endeavour). Since last Wednesday, I can't help but wonder If everybody feels that way sometimes? Do fifty year olds feel misplaced at a party with thirty five year olds? I've personally never had any problems fitting in any age group, but why does it seem like we have a harder time fitting in downwards than upwards? I usually hung out with much older people, does that make them weird or am I now if i have a hard time with younger people?
Anyway, as someone once said:
"As I grow older , I regret to say that a detestable habit of thinking seems to be getting a hold of me"
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